There seems to be a lot happening in this piece. It is well composed, but the mixing leaves a little to be desired. The bass sort of overwhelms everything.
Not bad composition-wise just a little chaotic at points (like i said is more than likely due to the mixing.) every instrument seems to be fighting for the spotlight.
I do like the sounds and instruments used, and I feel you have some great potential.
Maybe take a day or 2 between mixing/mastering sessions to hear your piece with fresh ears every time you hear it. something I had to learn the hard way. Keep it up!
-DJNet